LGBTQIA+ Inclusion in Yoga Spaces

Written By Skylar Haven

Recently I was privileged to be invited by the Yoga Therapy Institute to share some thoughts on LGBTQ inclusivity specifically as it relates to yoga spaces and yoga therapy. I titled the session, “a highly imperfect, very incomplete guide to starting the journey towards LGBTQIA+ inclusivity”. The intent was to start a conversation and raise initial awareness around the importance of creating safer more inclusive spaces with developmental and healing potential.

At the outset it’s important to acknowledge that LGBTQ inclusion is one part of a larger issue. Unfortunately, many “well-intentioned” people have created spaces which did not take into account the experience of those outside of their “norm”. Many spaces, including our yoga and coaching spaces, are dominated by white heteronormative culture and, as a result, the definition of a “safe space” is defined by white heteronormative culture and often fails to take into account the experience and needs of those outside of it.

What follows are my imperfect notes and thoughts and most importantly links to further resources on this topic. While the original audience was yoga therapists in training, I believe that this is relevant to anyone who shares yoga with others as a modality for increased health and wellbeing. In my own yoga therapy and holistic somatic coaching practice, I aim for inclusive and accessible practices as the norm. I also offer queer yoga therapy and queer yoga specifically for LGBTQIA+ people.

I want to acknowledge at the start that this post is incomplete and imperfect. My hope is that it will serve as a starting reference for those who want to take steps towards creating LGBTQ inclusive yoga spaces but aren’t sure where to start.

Who am I to talk about this?

  • Sexual orientation - Queer. Meaning I experience my sexuality fluidly and can experience attraction to people of any gender

  • Gender Identity - Nonbinary / genderqueer. Meaning my gender identity doesn’t fall into the binary either male or female delineation. It shifts, and often I don’t have a strong connection to any gender.

  • Pronouns - They/Them/Theirs.

  • Gender Expression - My gender expression tends to be masculine. This is partially the result of years of practice “passing” which I’m still unlearning.

  • Privilege - Being able bodied, white and passing as a male (and often as a straight male due to having a family) have given me privileges that many don’t have. This is bound to show up in my viewpoint at times. This brings me to my final points:

  • I’m still learning, I’m not an expert and I can't (and try not to) speak for the experience of all LGBQTIA+ people.

  • I often use the word “we” in my writing not to universalize the experience of everyone but to acknowledge that I am on a learning journey.

With that said, this post covers the following topics:

  • Living Yoga & Creating Spaces With Healing Potential

  • The invitation offered by yogic ethics

  • Gender 101 - A crash course in gender, sexuality and the implications on how we use language

  • Resources around accessibility, inclusion and social justice

Living Yoga & Creating Spaces With Healing Potential

In popular culture and in many spaces I’ve been in, yoga is often viewed as a highly personal and individual practice. I believe that we fall short of the true potential of yoga if our practice of it is purely individualistic.

Yoga teachers often aspire to have a positive impact on those around them and yoga therapists look to apply the teachings and practices of yoga in ways that empower others to improve their health and wellbeing. Yet even as we share yoga, we can share it as a practice done primarily for me or as a practice engaged in with the intent of reducing suffering in the world and contributing to the collective wellbeing of our interconnected universe. I suggest that we miss out on the healing potential of yoga if we fail to make this link.

Once we have the intent to practice yoga for the good of others and the reduction of suffering in the world, we must recognize that good intent is not enough. The impact we have is not purely determined by our intention. Intention is an important starting point. Delivering the impact we intend requires wise and compassionate action. To stop at intention without reflecting on and owning the real world impact of our actions, or lack there of, is using yoga to justify avoidance. This is otherwise known as spiritual bypassing.

One of the ways to bring yoga to life in the world is to be committed to actively contributing to the creation of safer spaces with healing potential. If we commit to this, then we must commit to inclusive practices including reflecting on the impact of our use of language in these spaces.

As a side note for yoga therapists, it’s relevant to recognize the potential impact that creating safer space can have on the healthcare and wellbeing of others. Studies have shown the presence of bias, stigma, and discrimination in healthcare for LGBTQ people. People in the LGBTQ community, BIPOC, and people in larger bodies may be less likely to seek timely medical care. LGBTQ people are also less likely to have a primary care physician and when they do seek medical care they may not disclose their sexual orientation or gender identity which can lead to inadequate medical care. This is just the tip of the iceberg. The point here is to highlight that the accessibility and quality of healthcare offered is not equal for all and many of these groups of people are also at higher risk of violence, trauma or other health risks.

Five steps towards more inclusive safer spaces

Sitting around and affirming ourselves as already inclusive or telling ourselves that we don’t have to worry about these things because “they” aren’t my primary demographic is not going to move anyone closer to more inclusive spaces with healing potential. If you’re ready to take next steps, here are 5 steps you can take:

  • Commit to the practice of inclusion
    It’s one thing to affirm that inclusion matters. It’s another to actually commit to the practice of it. Committing to this practice is not easy, it is confronting, painful and takes effort.

  • Own your impact
    It’s much easier to own intent than it is to own impact. Owning impact requires deep reflection and education to recognize what impact we might be having without realizing it.

  • Educate yourself
    Just like one can make a lifetime study of yoga and still not know it all, the study of accessibility and inclusivity is a lifelong practice. Alongside learning about accessible yoga, one might include further study about social justice, systemic injustice, racial trauma, and trauma sensitive practice. In the context of LGBTQ inclusion, one must learn about gender identity, sexual orientation and the unique health issues facing our community.

  • Use inclusive language
    This is closely related to the prior two actions. Human knowledge and language is continually evolving. As they evolve, words that were once considered “acceptable” may be recognized to be harmful in some way. Words pick up baggage, exclusivity, and bias. They may be inaccurate or connected to stereotypes or hateful and derogatory speech. One example of this is the word “queer” which has often been used in a derogatory manner. Today some of us have reclaimed it, others still find it offensive, and some still use it as a way to cause harm. If we don’t want to cause harm, we must hold ourselves accountable for staying educated about language and choosing inclusive options.

  • Take wise action
    Each of the prior steps are arguably a form of wise action. As we engage in them, we will discover new ways that we need to act. We may no longer be able to stay silent about something, we may need to stop doing something that hinders safety and inclusion or start doing something that increases it. We will discover ways we and the yoga community have contributed to the problem and we will see that the only way to deliver a different impact is to act. Rather than viewing this as a linear process, I see this as more interconnected and cyclical. Each new discovery requires us to return to our commitment, own our impact, learn and change. As we navigate these steps, it’s important to continually return to a vision of why we are doing this in the first place.

Yogic ethics: Yamas & Niyamas

Many yoga teachers, therapists and practitioners have some level of familiarity with yogic ethics (the yamas & the niyamas). If we are going to talk about living our yoga in ways that create safer and inclusive spaces, it’s helpful to consider how the yamas and niyamas can inform our reflection and action as individuals and communities.

The following are just a few of my thoughts on how the yamas and niyamas connect to this topic.

Ahimsa ~ Nonviolence

Practicing and modeling inclusion is a way of practicing nonviolence and practicing nonviolence can help guide you towards a safer space for all people. For example, nonviolence asks us to become aware of ways we commit (or respond to) microaggressions. When we do commit a microaggression or cause harm in any way, we must be prepared to not justify it with words like “I didn’t mean to” or “Don’t be so sensitive”. In fact, we shouldn’t make it about us at all and we shouldn’t externalize blame. If it’s brought to our attention by someone else, we can learn from it. If we realize it ourselves, we can correct ourself and act differently moving forward. There’s some other great thoughts about what to do when we mess up here.

Satya ~ Truthfulness

Truthfulness calls us to speak up when we see words or behaviours that are not contributing to safety and inclusion. I’ve heard a few times the argument that it’s a lot of work to adapt language and practices to include others when that’s “not my primary audience”. Truthfulness calls us to speak up as teachers and therapists, to expand the awareness of others, challenge them to become aware of the diversity of those outside their “normal” experience and acknowledge their impact on others. It calls us to name oppressive systems and spiritual bypassing. Truthfulness calls us to the place of our impact. It asks us to own any privilege and our mistakes, our wounds and the results of our words and actions.

Asteya ~ Non-stealing

If we decide that all of this is too much work or not worth the effort, we are undermining collective wellbeing and stealing safety from others. If we use yoga, good intention, business or any other thing as an excuse to avoid this work we are engaging in spiritual bypassing and stealing from the good of others. Non-stealing is an invitation to see ourselves as interconnected with others and recognize that we always have some kind of impact on others.

Brahmacharya ~ Wise use of energy

Traditionally, this is interpreted as celibacy, abstinence or the “right use of energy”. I view brahmacharya as the wise use of energy and relate it to the middle path. Brahmacharya invites us to zoom out and reflect on where and how we invest our energy. It encourages us to balance action and reflection, reacting and responding, activism and restoration. It invites us to consider where we are currently spending our energy if it’s not contributing to creating safer spaces with healing potential.

Aparigraha ~ Non-Possessiveness

Human minds tend to get attached to their identities, the things they “know”, their opinions and beliefs. When we perceive a threat to these things, our stress response can easily be triggered resulting in our biology defending these things as if our life depends on it. Non-possessiveness invites us to hold what we “know” and our opinions and beliefs loosely. When we hold these things loosely, we have the opportunity to become curious and learn about the experience of another even when we strongly disagree with them.

Saucha ~ Purity

Saucha invites us to examine our intent and our motivations. It invites an exploration of how we view ourselves. Are we “helpers” or saviours looking to enlighten others with our own wisdom or are we practitioners committed to living our yoga day by day while learning from and sharing the journey with others. Are we trying to please others, get recognition, gather likes on social media, or be motivated in some other way by the identities we cling to?

Santosha ~ Contentment

Along the way, we will likely discover many things that are in our sphere of influence as well as many which are out of it. Santosha invites wise acceptance. Acceptance may call us to let go and it may call us to accept the responsibility of action. It invites us to become present to and even embrace each moment with its struggles, grief and joys.

Tapas ~ Discipline/perseverance

Let’s be honest. The work of creating safer spaces and living yoga isn’t easy. It’s a lot easier to post an exotic yoga picture on social media. This is an invitation to keep showing up for collective wellbeing even when we don’t feel like it anymore. It’s an invitation to be in this for the long haul and not just for a moment.

Svadhyaya ~ self-study

Self study is an invitation to become very curious and knowledgable about our biases, our triggers, our discomfort, what we consider “normal”, our unresolved issues and our impact on those around you. Self-study can take us to the gaps between intention and impact.

Ishvara Pranidhana ~ Surrender to something bigger than “me”

Committing to acting to reduce suffering and contribute to collective wellbeing requires surrendering to something much bigger than just “me”. We surrender a life lived for me and a purely individualistic yoga of inner experience in exchange for participating in something bigger.

Gender 101: A crash course in gender and the implications on how we use language

You may be used to thinking of and seeing representations of gender in a binary way. Either or. Either male or female and inextricably linked to the genitals you were born with. Many people view sexual orientation in a binary fashion as well. Either you like people of the opposite gender or you like people of the same gender with little room in between. The actual experience of gender and sexuality is much richer and more diverse than this simple story. We can actually break this experience down into different independent yet interrelated components. Each component might be viewed as a continuum and no one component determines another.

  • Sexual organs
    People may be born with one, none or both sets of sexual organs.

  • Gender identity - One’s own experience and definition of their gender.
    This may be male, female, neither, both, or something else entirely.

  • Gender expression - This is the way one presents their gender outwardly through things like fashion and behavior.
    Examples could be masculine, feminine, androgynous or gender neutral.

  • Gender presentation - This is the way others view one’s gender.

  • Sexual Attraction - This is about who you are sexually attracted to.
    People may be attracted to any number of combinations of the above three components in addition to any number of inner/outer qualities. Example could be experiencing attraction to men or masculinity, women or femininity, attraction to nonbinary genders, multiple genders or no attraction at all.

  • Romantic Attraction - This is about who you want to experience romantic activities with.
    See sexual attraction.

  • Emotional Attraction - This is who you want to experience deeper emotional connection with.

    See sexual attraction.

  • Sexual partners - One’s choice of sexual partners and relationship configurations
    Example might be only one partner for life, one partner at a time, multiple partners at a time, or no partners.

In addition, rather than being fixed, many people find that their experience of one or more of these categories changes over time. For some this occurs often and for others it is something that occurs over a lifetime. At the end of this article, I offer resources for further explorations on these topics.

Just a few other terms relevant to this conversation:

  • Assigned female/male at birth
    A more accurate term than “born female/male” or “biological male”.

  • Cisgender
    Someone who identifies with the sex they were assigned at birth based on their sexual organs

  • Transgender
    Someone doesn’t identify with the sex they were assigned at birth and may be moving towards one they identify more with.

  • Non-binary, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, or gender fluid
    Someone who identifies outside of the binary, potentially having multiple, neither or fluctuating gender identities.

  • Gender pronouns
    Gender pronouns are the words one uses to describe their gender. Examples include: he/she/they/ze/ve/xe/ey.

While there are many variations of gender, sexuality and relationships, the dominant culture still tends to tell stories reflecting the idea of a binary gender identity and binary sexual orientation. This shows up in the language used, stories told and stereotypes perpetuated. The language and stories tend to include some and exclude others. Additionally, many of these stories affirm some definition of what a "real" man or woman is. This definition typically includes ideals around appearance, gender expression, rules of attraction, ideal number of sexual partners. Anything that falls out of the "ideal" might be depicted as strange, abnormal, unusual, humorous, ugly, different, dangerous, sick, a choice, wrong, or any other number of labels.

People are exposed to these stories from the time they are young. The messaging is pervasive and includes the colors you are supposed to like, the toys you should play with, whether you are described as smart or pretty, the aspirations you are expected to have and the way you are supposed to (not) express emotions. These messages are heard in homes, communities, books, magazine, films, the news, stores, schools, etc.

Consider the following stories, language and stereotypes from daily life:

Stories

  • The popular Hollywood story that women are just waiting to fall in love (with only one person generally of the “opposite” gender who will complete them) or a similar story that men just need to find "the right one" to settle down.

Language

  • Greeting a room with "Welcome ladies and gentleman"

  • Automatically using he/she when referring to someone without knowing what gender pronoun they use. (Imagine calling everyone Jack or Jill because you couldn't be bothered to ask their name.)

Stereotypes & Generalizations

  • Assuming someone who "looks like a man" and acts effeminate "must be gay".

  • Describing a woman who has multiple sexual partners as a “slut” while describing a man who has multiple sexual partners as “virile”.

  • Men aren’t good with expressing emotions, are stronger and less flexible.

  • Women are nurturing, have bigger hips, are more flexible, and find certain yoga poses more difficult.

  • When women are pregnant their breasts get bigger. (What about transmen or ciswomen who've had mastectomies?)

These examples are all problematic and exclude, judge or deny many of the rich and diverse experiences of others. Perhaps as you read them, others come to mind.

Inclusive Language

So what are the implications of all this on the use of language as it relates to creating more inclusive spaces? Remember that we committed to study the actual impact of our actions and language. Creating a more inclusive space invites us to step away from ways of thinking and use of language that exclude others in favour of opening up space for the rich multitude of gender and sexual experiences.

Some starting steps in our use of language are:

  • Use gender neutral language

    • Try “Ok all” instead of “Ok ladies” or “Welcome everyone” instead of “Welcome ladies and gentlemen”.
      (Even if you think everyone in the room is a “woman”, you have no idea what their gender identity actually is.)

    • Try “some people don’t have the arm strength for chaturanga” instead of “women find chaturanga difficult”

  • Use pronouns when introducing yourself
    For example, “Hi, I’m Chris. I use they/their pronouns.” This opens space for others to do the same without forcing anyone to do so via a pronoun round.

  • Use more accurate language instead of perpetuating stereotypes

    • Try “some people experience difficulty expressing emotions” instead of “men aren’t usually as good at expressing emotions”.

    • Try “all genders” instead of “both genders” or “opposite genders”

  • Don’t make assumptions about gendered or human experience

    There’s no need for statements that group all of a particular gender group into a category. There are as many experiences of gender and sexuality as there are people.

  • Reflect the language that someone uses for themselves
    If someone uses the word “she” to describe themselves, then use the word “she”. Ditto if someone asks you to use a particular word.

  • Consider how the stories, language and examples you give include or exclude others
    This is especially relevant if you deliver teacher trainings or workshops of any kind.

Final thoughts

Allyship is the practice of recognizing one’s privilege in the world and taking responsibility to use that privilege and power on behalf of those who are marginalized. It involves building relationships, using inclusive language and actively working against prejudice, discrimination and oppression. Being an ally, working to create inclusive cultures and safer spaces with healing and growth potential, and practicing or teaching yoga or mindfulness in ways that are accessible, inclusive and socially engaged is a transformative lifelong journey.

The truth is that discrimination abounds in the world. Racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, ableism, ageism and the list goes on. This post focused on LGBQT inclusion and I encourage you to consider how else you might increase inclusion. You might think about race, disability, ageing, varying bodies sizes and types, neurodiversity, mental health and the list goes on.

Some final tips:

  • You’ll make mistakes. When you do correct it, don’t make it about you or blame anyone. Keep learning.

  • You’ll get triggered. When you do, acknowledge it, become curious and explore it.

  • You are a role model whether you realize it or not. What you allow or don’t allow, say or don’t say will have an impact. Consider the impact you want to have.

  • Don’t expect an award for doing this work. Be in this to create a better world and make a positive contribution that only you can make with your unique skills and circle of influence, not get kudos.

  • You need others. Build relationships, learn from others on this journey.

  • Stay curious, keep asking questions, learn about the experiences of other people, treat people with respect and dignity

Resources for the journey

Being an ally, creating inclusive cultures, safer spaces with healing and growth potential, and practicing or teaching yoga or mindfulness in ways that are accessible, inclusive and socially engaged is a transformative lifelong journey. I will forever be a beginner in this journey and am incredibly grateful for the wisdom which comes out of the community of others engaged in this work. In addition to the following LGBQT specific resources, I’ve put together a page of resources to support you in this journey.

LGBTQ Specific

Thanks for reading!

Skylar Haven
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