How to escape the tyranny of the urgent

How often do you move through the day feeling like you’re going from one urgent thing to the next? Putting out one fire after another? Driven by the outer circumstances, people and problems that need you most? Maybe each day feels like jumping into a fast moving river and trying to avoid as many rocks as possible as you get carried downstream.

Have you ever found yourself mentally replaying a conversation again and again perhaps frustrated with some part of what happened or the outcome?

Have you ever received an email and found yourself annoyed a long while after?

Have you ever replied in a conversation in a way that you later regretted?

There’s a good chance you have experienced some or all of these situations at some point in your life. If you look closely, you might notice that there’s a common thread. In each of these situations there is something happening in the environment around you and something happening in your own inner world. It looks quite similar to a cause and an effect: something happens around me and as a result something happens inside of me which translates into some behaviour.

If you look closely at your own experience, you may notice how often the state of your inner world is driven by what’s happening around you and your behaviour is emerging from the state of your inner world.

What could happen for you if you had a way to exit this pattern whenever you wanted? If the external world no longer drove the state of the inner world in the same way? If you could choose how and to what degree the external conditions affected your decisions and actions?

Here’s one way to practice taking control of your responses by intentionally connecting your inner world to a more resourced state.

1. Stop.

2. Notice anything you feel in your body.
   Ever heard the phrase: don’t shoot the messenger? Sensations are like little messengers full of valuable information about your current state. They want to be heard, felt, and allowed to exist. Is there tension somewhere? Pain? Tiredness? A racing heart? Sweaty palms? Restlessness and a desire to move or stillness and calm? What’s is your body telling you?
   

3. Take 10 breaths. Inviting each to be a little slower and deeper.
   One option is to visualize or imagine how the breath gently travels up and down your spine, bringing a sense of space to the stomach, ribs and heart area. Gently slowing down and deepening the breath invites your nervous system to calm down and supports unplugging your inner state from being driven by the external environment. Want someone to guide you in this? Download our free guided breathing exercise!
   

4. Consider your options.
   Now that you’ve tuned in to your body and unplugged the inner state from the circumstances, what’s the wise next step? Is there a next action that might have a positive impact on yourself and those around you? Is taking no action the best choice for now? Would taking 10 more breaths or a short walk be a helpful response?

This exploration can be done individually or collectively, proactively or reactively. It supports by creating conditions out of which wise decisions can arise. Some moment to try it include: at the start of each day, when deciding the next task to work on, before or during a meeting, in the middle of a stressful situation, when you find yourself feeling like you’re just running from thing to thing putting out fires, or anytime you want to shift from a more reactive state to a more resourced place from which intentional actions can arise.

Have a story of how you used this? We’d love to hear from you.